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Last night the family and I headed to Cincinnati to see my twin two week old nieces. I hadnt seem them yet. They entered the world while I was in Cuba. I was pretty excited to see them. My brother had to work so we would be visiting with his GF. We made a dinner for them and grabbed the camera then jumped in the car for the hour ride south.
As soon as we turned onto I-275, the Cincinnati loop bypass, traffic stopped moving. It was about 5:45-6:00 and was rush hour traffic. What I couldnt understand was why the left lane wasnt moving. I have driven the entire i-275 loop prior to this occasion. The left lane never exits the interstate. In theory this lane that I was driving in should never end or stop moving.

The left lane has no exits in its 100 mile existence. People would have to merge right to get off the bypass. So what reason would there be for a traffic jam? Ahh. A wreck you say. True. Possible. But even a wreck is moved off the lane as soon as possible. The traffic pattern didnt indicate a wreck. We would drive 30 miles an hour for 100 yards. Stop. Do it again. Stop. Do it again. For about 5 miles.
Then something miraculous happened. The jam was over. Just over. No wreck. No orange barrels. Just blue skies, singing birds and fast moving SUV’s on all sides. I was dumbfounded. In my escalating angered thoughts I deduced the following.
Traffic jams have increased in southwest Ohio in direct proportion to the building of the dreaded cul-de-sac. Think about it with for a minute. My neighborhood never has a traffic jam. There is never a traffic jam between me and the interstate. That is about 2 miles. But..think for a minute about a new cul-de-sac community. Traffic trying to get in. Traffic trying to get out. Traffic from the interstate to the community. Traffic from your cul-de-sac to the main road, main road to interstate, interstate to work. Ahh..
Thats it. Cul-de-sacs. Yes I know. I am blame shifting. I could blame traffic jams on immigrants, women or senior citizens. But the truth is that it is the fault of the cul-de-sac. Here is my reasoning.
Prior to cul-de-sacs all roads led somewhere. Cul-de-sacs go no where. No where. I have good friends that paid good money to live on a cul-de-sac. Precisely because the road goes no where. No one drives by the house. Why. The road dead ends 4 doors down. So this is where the traffic ties up. When folks are in a mad rush to get home they have only one way to get there. Why. Because there is only one way into the “development”, we dont have neighborhoods anymore, and only one road to thier house. No alternative routes.
This is why it takes the state of Florida 3 and a half weeks to evacuate in an emergency. All those SUV’s bottlenecking at the front gates of the development. Same thing in Southwest Ohio. Everyone going the same place at the same time. SUV’s with 8 seatbelts carrying one person and take out dinner from Panera Bread Co. Arghh.
(sorry about that. I started to sound like a west coast tree hugger there. my apologies)
I just figure..if you all are going to the same cul-de-sac why not share a ride. I figure half off all those idiots on the road where headed to Lebanon, Mason or West Chester. All perfectly good towns til about 1995 when the cul-de-sacs began spreading like a concrete fungis.
Thankfully I was unarmed and no one was injured during my rush hour drive on Cinci’s north side.
Kill the cul-de-sacs I say.