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In an effort to grow up, I joined a book club. I have some friends, mostly women over 50, that are in book clubs. Apparently groups of people come together over wine and snacks and discuss what they are reading. One time back before Christmas my son Caleb and I interupted a book club at the book store at the mall. People discussing a book. This is what cultured mature folks do apparently in the suburbs.

I read a lot. This is a gift from my mom. My dad read more during his later years, but mom was always reading. She read paperback novels, but she also read diligently when she went to college during my high school years. Admittedly I didn’t read much in college but soon after I found an entire world out there in print. I soaked up the classics that I neglected in school, swallowed Twain and Hemingway to the last drop, traveled the world with them both. Got lost in far off tales by Jimmy Buffett and lived vicariously through Grisham’s lawyers.

Recently politics have captured my attention and I re-read what de Tocqueville had to say about our young democracy, what Lincoln had to say about politics 150 years ago, what Rove says now, and what Obama says our politics will look like.  Cuba has my interest right now while I work through a comprehensive history of that little Caribbean gem.

The book club. That is how we started this discussion. Earlier today I gathered with 7 other gentlemen to discuss a book that has been on my radar for sometime. The Pact. This book is a narrative about the real lives of three boys, now men, who decided that they would stick together to reach their goals.  These men came from broken homes in neighborhoods where sucess was defined by instant wealth and thug life fame.

This book covers the lives of three men who defy the odds of inner city Newark and the projects. Sampson Davis, Rameck Hunt, and George Jenkins armed with only loving mothers, above average intellect and the support of one another, push each other to success. These guys agreed during their senior year that they would become doctors. And so they did. One dentist, two doctors and proof that their pact could sustain their hopes in the midst of inconceivable barriers.

That’s the book. We are only six chapters in. One guy in the group finished the book. The rest of us urged him to re-read with us. Having never participated in a book club before, I relied on a friend to help with some discussion questions. I started the discussion today.

Me: So, did any of you find yourself identifying wth George, Sam or Rameck?

Friend #2: Yeah, my mom is on drugs and I live with my grandma like Rameck does.

Where do you take the conversation from there?  You see, my club is a group of 7th and 8th graders from West Dayton. These kids are living the very same life these guys escaped and wrote about.  The book can be summarized with this quote from one of the authors, Sampson “Sam” Davis:

It would take years for me to learn that friendships can lift you up, strengthen and empower you, or break you down, weaken and defeat you.

This is the point of the story. I am only 1/3 complete with the book but this truth is paramount. It is paramount in anyone’s life. From the projects to the suburban cul de sacs, children and adults, in church or in business, this lesson is true. I hope that the 7 young men I spend time with discussing this book understand this.

In each circumstance when kids I have dealt with have gotten into trouble, it went back to friendships, or the perception of friendships. When the juvenile delinquents I worked with were successful, it was because of friendships. George, Sam and Rameck found a friendship among one another that challenged them to rise above their circumstances and to hold one another accountable. Today that friendship, that pact, is three men with MD next to their name and a message for the inner city, urban and disenchanted suburban children.

I think I will stick to the Junior high book selection for a while. I can’t wait to hear what these guys pick out next.